Booooooo, indeed!

Damn Boo at the Zoo! This annual zoo event has ruined All Hallow’s Eve for me. It used to be a joyous occasion, but now it just equals many nights of hell. So, Todd and Warren, yeah, kids in costumes are cute up until you’ve seen 10,000 of em. Fifty-two-percent of which are Spidermen; 17% princesses; 15% some animal; 13% that damn scream movie ghoul; and 3% inflatable sumo wrestlers. Boo at the Zoo was 14 nights this year. Twelve of which were straight in a row. However, I only put in 9 straight on account of pneumonia. Pneumonia! What the heck? Am I 80? I don't smoke. I’ve now had it twice in my life. That can’t be good for business. I went to the doctor ‘bout 2 weeks ago, and I still am not 100%. I couldn’t even blow out jack-o-lantern candles the other night. I tried singing a little ditty this morning as I prepared myself for Day 10 of work. Couldn’t do it. It felt like Rosie O’Donnell had just taken a seat on my chest and settled in with a big box of bon bons.

Speaking of the pneumonia… a little game of telephone occurred via our church’s email. Donnie skipped church band practice one night so he called the worship leader’s house and told the wife, “I took Sarah to the doctor today. She has pneumonia so I’m going to stay home with her.” Somehow, within like 24 hours, the whole church thought I had been rushed to the hospital and was nearly dead. Now, true, the doctor did tell me if I was older I probably would have ended up in the hospital, but I was just on our couch for five long days. Couple of which were endured with a 104 fever. I was not anywhere near dead. I’ve got at least another 75 years left in me (50 good ones anyway). Ah, the telephone game. What first starts out as “the dog likes cheese,” ends up being “the monkey throws shit at the mailman.”

Pneumonia:


Monkeys do throw poo.

Donnie and I play a lot of Dr. Mario!



Sure, it is a great game, but what would High School Graduate Luigi be like?

The other night, while getting my fulfilling dose of Adult Swim, there was a clip of a very distinctive theme song. Joy filled my heart as the network then implied the beloved show would be coming to Adult Swim starting July 10th. Never was the show mentioned by name… but it wasn’t necessary. I knew. Well, yesterday, I found this:

http://www.wandtv.com/dsp_story.cfm?storyid=43795

What a friggin’ great birthday present that will be for me. I turn Quarter of a Century on July 9th. Happy Birthday, Sarah, it’s mother effin’ Pee-Wee! One of the greatest shows of all time. Wow! Where would I be without Pee-Wee…

Well, I would probably have a decent attention span.

Donnie might have a harder time finding birthday/Christmas/anniversary presents for me, as I often get Pee-Wee memorabilia.

Without Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, and other than Dirty Dancing, there would be no DVDs in my collection that Donnie really didn’t like watching.

And I wouldn’t have had to hear, as a young girl, my mother say Pee-Wee was caught playing with himself in an adult theater… but that every man does it.

You may be wondering Sarah, why are you so excited that Pee-Wee is coming to TV if you have the show on DVD? Well, you see, all I have to do is flip it on and start reliving the past (minus the great cereal commercials of yesteryear that featured exciting prizes… I miss cereal box prizes). I can also be surprised by which episode will air. I won’t have to wait for Donnie to be gone at band practice or somewhere to enjoy a little of the Playhouse. Plus, he might even enjoy it with me. After all, he watches The (crappy) Oblongs when it is on just because it is on.

You know what isn’t a good birthday present…? Changing the name of the DQ Mister Misty to Artic Rush. How disappointing, but I’m gonna show them! I’m going to keep ordering the Strawberry-Kiwi MISTER MISTY.

Yeah, so I haven’t blogged in a while. Well, F-You! I work a lot. Right before Memorial Day weekend, I worked 99 hours straight without a day off. Today is Day 10, and it looks like I won’t have a day off until Sunday. So there! I’m so much better than you.

By the way, Cyndi Lauper sings the Pee-Wee theme song.

This time of year, critters across the land
awake from their winter slumbers.


Including Jerkus maximo, more commonly known
as an asshole.


Behavior: Courtship behavior includes spewing profanities and burning rubber down at the local Hawaiian Ice Hut, all while decent families are trying to enjoy a tasty treat.

Primarily nocturnal. Rarely seen between the hours of 5am and 12noon.

Packs of assholes swarm innocent automobiles in an attempt to both impress and annoy motorists.

Range: His mom’s house.

Habitat: Avoid quaint countrysides at all costs.

Life Span: Unknown. Most reported sightings are of young males between the ages of 18 and 25.

Diet: Shaved ice, generally with Pina Colada flavoring ('cause it is SOOO grown up), and Slim Jims

Niche: Defies Reining’s Theory that only the smartest
survive, as this species pops wheelies and swerves in and out of traffic at speeds no less than 60 mph.

Conservation Status: Locally common.
Running over an asshole could very well be a crime even if he is at fault for falling off his vehicle and landing just in front of your moving vehicle. Check with you local law enforcement agency.

Predators: This guy:


Distinctive markings: Barbed wire tattoos around biceps.

---

You probably noticed the weird turtle creature has been replaced by what is, perhaps, the best $2.99 I've ever spent at a thrift shop. It's a painting of a fat chick on a cupcake. And it is so much better in person.

Happy Birthday, Blog! You're the Big Zero Three!

Currently listening to
The Flaming Lips’ At War with the Mystics
Are you?
(why not?)

You will surely find this as entertaining as I have!

One Red Paper Clip

This guy started off with a red paper clip and has been making various trades in hopes of eventually ending up with a house. Currently up for trade is a recording contract. Some of the trades that have been offered in return include a full body tattoo, an adult beverage hut in Mexico, and lots and lots of cookie dough.

So, who didn't watch last night's South Park?

Also, as stolen from Warren's blog, check this guy out!

It is only a shot of his top half, but look at his face. He's totally wagging his wiener at the photographer. Totally!

Anyway, I will post a real blog soon.
Hugs and Kisses!

Check this out:

Chuck Norris Facts

What else do you have to do!

YOU, shake your junk!